I am beginning to see a pattern, a new phase if you will in my life as I know it. I'm not sure that I like it. However, I know it is a completely natural and Godly thing. (Ephesians 5:21-6:4) We are to raise up our children and let them go.
My "oldest baby" is getting married next year, my son is planning his career to join the military and my baby baby is going through pre-puberty. My once tom boy is starting to shed away her little girl shell and becoming a young lady. She is asking questions that I thought I wouldn't have to awnser in quite some time simply because of her nature. Here is a funny and sweet story. Anyone that knows Bre knows that she is NOT a girly girl if you will. Just read previous posts. I have noticed though that lately she is taking more care in choosing her outfits for the day. :)
Anyway, Bre is a saver, (in money as well as in souls. ;)) She received some money for her birthday a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't surprised when I saw that she brought her wallet to the store today, because she is always in need of art supplies. However, she asked if we could look at the necklaces. I swallowed my heart- I thought to myself "this is really happening she is completely changing and growing up before my eyes." You have to know Bre to know where I am coming from-She protest ANYTHING girly-she absolutely despises Brats and Barbies and she would rather NOT wear a dress, even to Church. I do know that this will someday change, but I must admit that I count my blessings that she is not in a rush to grow up. Cassie, my sweet and sassy one, grew up it seems too fast. She always did everything before her peers, walk, talk, finish school early and everything in between. I have enjoyed and cherished watching her become the wonderful young woman that she is. She has always been an over achiever and I am not surprised that she is excited about starting a family of her own. She has been watching me cook and is starting to make her favorite meals in preparation for her own household. I have created a Huge Household Manager Binder for myself a few years back. Cassie has asked me to make one for her. I think I will just give her mine, since I really do not look at it much anymore anyhow.
I feel super blessed to have such strong bonds with both of my girls whom are so completely different from each other. Now, I am not purposely leaving Ty out, but this is a story about my girls. I will say that being the middle child between two very different complex girls makes very good future husband material wouldn't you say? :)
Wow, I am going off track here. Where was I? Walmart with Bre. So, I took her over to the necklaces and watched her ooh and ahh over the different styles. Meanwhile, I am asking God (in my head of course) why he didn't give me a fore warning that my little girl was changing so suddenly. I mean, I had not one clue! Anyway, She picked out a beautiful turquoise heart pendant. She paid for it herself and talked to the cashier about how pretty she thinks it is and how she can't wait to wear it. I am just looking at her like "who are you??" I have no problem with girly girls-I am one- It is just shocking to witness your child change overnight. So, I strike up a convo on the way home, asking her why she chose that particular color and what she is going to wear it with. She professes that she is not sure but she just had to have it. I though ok, I understand that. :)
After taking care of groceries with Cassie's help Bre said she wanted to give me my Mother's Day present early. You know where I am going with this don't you? Well let me finish. I unwrap (a very nicely wrapped I might add) the most beautiful turquoise heart necklace that I have ever saw! :) She planned and plotted the whole thing!! Now that is the Beannie that I know. I am very touched at her little scheming and very blessed that I still have my little girl as I know her right now, for a little longer. I can only imagine God laughing at me, he does have quite the sense of humor does he not? Do you think that this is my fore warning. ;)
So, I am trying to not be saddened over children growing up and being the mommy that is always needed. The mommy that can simply kiss any boo boo or hurt away. Instead, I am looking forward to new relationships with my ever growing children. I am enjoying them as they are now. Do I miss holding a baby in my arms or chasing after toddlers? I do sometimes, then I remember sleepless nights, van loads of baby gear and potty training. My mothering is not over, it has just taken on a new meaning. Just when I started to feel sorry for myself and a bit useless God comforted me with this word: And this I pray: that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and all keen insight [that your love may display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment]. Philippians 1: 9
Thank you God for showing me this through my little weeps and big prayers. My love for my children will not diminish nor their love for me, simply because they grow up and start new lives. They will need me for different reasons and I plan on being the best granny, let me tell ya! :)
I was reading a homeschool book called "a Mom Just Like You." I do not remember the author. I was in the middle of the book a while back when Cassie announced that she was not going on to higher college and planned on getting married and going right into ministry. I admit, I had different ideas. There was something in that book that stood out More than anything during that time- The author (she had 10 children) said she received this word from God: It is not our job to raise Godly children. (Say what? right?) She goes on to say this: God raises Godly Children, we guide them by being Godly role models! With that said, how can I tell my own child to go to school for another 4-6 years and have a career that she does not desire to have before marriage ,when I myself am a very happy and content homeschool mom and loving wife. I love my life and she sees that and wants that for herself. For that I am very proud and honored. I pray happiness for all my children no matter what their paths. I have peace knowing that Jesus is right there with them, even when I am not. It is comforting when I compare my relationship with God and my children. He was there with me as a baby christian K"issing away my boo boos and hurts" just as I was for my children when they were small, fast forward to present day and I still need him and he is still here for me. My relationship with him is as strong as ever. I am going to close with a scripture that is inspiring to me: Ephesians 1:18-19: That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of reverence in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.